Happy Birthday. Lauren!

Today is my friend Lauren's birthday. I have known Lauren since 2011. We met working a really shitty night shift together, and we first bonded over LOST, Jack White, and Bon Iver.

Not gonna get too sappy with this, but I will say that she's one of the best people I know. I've never had a friend as kind, endlessly-supportive, welcoming, and fun. Two of my favorite Lomo memories involved being covered in fake blood at the Long Center and visiting a supposedly haunted catfish restaurant in Waxahachie... Both of those could be the plots of Scooby Doo episodes... Lauren is the Daphne to my Scooby Doo.

Once upon a time, Lauren and I tried our hands at an entertainment blog  It could have been better if we knew what we were doing and really, really tried... but it still had some fun things. The following was and will always be my favorite thing we did with that site: The Promos. Happy birthday, kiddo.

And our self-indulgent blooper reel.

Worthy

Thunderstorm + Ben Franklin costume + Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor + a Very Slow Day at Work.

Jack Meets Nina's Roommate

I have three nieces, so I have to occasionally watch some really weird TV... But I've noticed that some of the ladies on these kids' shows are pretty darn foxy. Like Nina from The Goodnight Show. 

I don't know much about this show, but she and this star-shaped puppet pillow thing are on at the end of the night. And it's weird. Especially on mute...

This video is what it would be like to pick up one of these ladies for a first date and have that always-awkward conversation with her costar/roommate.

I think the next episode of this will be me picking up the red-headed wiggle and meeting her roommates...

Sonnets Part 1

This blog is gonna have new content and new stuff, but I wanted to start with some sonnets. I love sonnets.  Love them.  Sonnets are... perfect. I love how perfect sonnets have to be... how any free-flowing creativity has to be concentrated and formatted to fit a very specific structure. And how the constrictive nature of a sonnet forces even more creativity. Sonnets are Sudoku with words.

I have google drafts just filled with unfinished quatrains and couplets... If you were to open any of those drafts, you'd see line after line with "a BUNCH of DUMB shit WRITten OUT like THIS." That was how I figured out how to do the iambic pentameter easier. It looks like AOL circa 1996 or the insane ramblings of... me.

These are the few I managed to finish over my life... The first is very high school which is okay because it was written in Freshman year. With the possible exception of 13, they all have a story or a person that inspired them.

2010: The Adventures of Captain America in my Office Building

Nobody saw this little series, but it might be my favorite thing I've ever done. In 2010, I worked shitty hours. I worked from 6:00pm-2:30am. And though they were shitty hours, I got to do a lot of fun things while at work.

The following is a project I did back then because I had a lot of free time and a lot of Happy Meal Toys. I'm really proud of this because I felt like a writer and director. As stupid as it is, I felt like I really was creating something. Lotta fun.

Quick guide:
Episode 1 was just silly and simple. Just playing around. I didn't think I'd do more.

Jack Batongbakal's Captain America at My Office Building
So, ya know how, at work, I can be crazy efficient and productive and yet find the time to do something... insane? Well...
Posted by Jack Batongbakal on Friday, August 20, 2010

Episode 2 was because I got bored and had some new (and I thought) fun ideas. I still look back fondly on this one.

Episode 2: Captain America Has A Magic Show!
Episode 2 of my ongoing battle with workplace sanity featuring the Music of Europe, Carl Orff and David Bowie...I was told that it is a quick 8 minutes.
Posted by Jack Batongbakal on Saturday, August 28, 2010

Episode 3 was because Episode 2 was ROUNDLY ignored, and it bothered me. It seriously was kinda disheartening, so I reflected that with Cap's depression.

Episode 3: Captain America vs. The Great Depression
Watch Captain America battle his inner demons as the evil MacDonald's Happy Meal Toys prepare to strike back.Yeah, so no one seemed to like the second episode (which is insane!), and that's actually where I got the idea for this one... and this one isn't very funny, but it should set up an epic finale......that no one's gonna watch.
Posted by Jack Batongbakal on Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Episode 4 was my epic, thrilling conclusion and homage to Star Wars. It was the most polished I think, and I got to fit in Kat and an unborn Laney for a cameo. A part of me wants to do at least one more or a Christmas special... but I threw away most of them.

Episode 4: Return of the Jedi
Holy crap, it finally uploaded!?! I've been trying for f'ing three weeks!Like a lot of the projects I actually manage finishing, this isn't as good as the original idea... and yet it's finished, and I'm happy with the finished product. This is... not funny, really. It's silly... It's kinda like a lame comic book movie with a bunch of Star Wars references that I hope my fellow nerds will appreciate... It finishes the story, and I like finished stories. I urge you to watch it if only for the awesome cameo by my sister.
Posted by Jack Batongbakal on Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Jack vs. Blogging Part 3

So, originally, I was going to make this the first post. But my "test" post cracked me up too much to get rid of it. I mean... "Butt Inception." C'mon...

Alright. Jack has a blog again. How'd we get here? I've been putting off making a blog/website for at least two years. I've wanted to make one, but the biggest thing in the way was what to call it. I wanted it to be funny and different and have fun words but also have some meaning to it too... So, I brainstormed and brainstormed... Nothing. Also, it sucks when your name is Jack because everything sounds like a euphemism for masturbation. But after I saw that badass digest changed their name, I figured, I'll go with the old standard and then maybe someday I'll figure out something better.

Until then... The Great Jaxby... That's me.

Just wanted to share the other "good" potential website names me and my friends came up with:
Blunt Horse Trauma (I intend to use this for my metal band someday)
Shaking Daisies (A Gatsby reference that sounds too much like an indie rock band)
Rice Guy (the Asian joke is too easy)
Euphemism for Masturbation (too much spelling involved)
Get That Bird Off Your Shoulder (Due to a wonderful flub whilst singing "Dirt Off Your Shoulder")
Peanut Butter and Chaos (heard it on SNL)
JacksAWF (AWF would stand for Awesome Wonderful Fun)
Big Pizza Sheet
Regal Lambifications (my sister's favorite)
Serial Diaper (Something my middle niece was saying a lot)
Botched Exorcism
Ducking Genius (really liked that one, but I was alone)
Zero Ducks Given

Why now?
1. I talked recently to a famous, singing Jesus, and he told me to follow my dreams. No really, that happened. Not sure what my dream is, but I know it has to do with writing and creating. 2. I need a creative outlet right now. Really bad. The past couple years have been very heavy, and I just need something else.

This is my third time writing a blog. I used to do the myspace journals until myspace died... I had subscribers. I had a following. That was awesome. In 2010-2011, me and my friend Lauren tried writing an entertainment-y blog, and it would have been good if we took it more seriously... and if that one girl didn't break my heart and leave me completely unwilling to do anything for a really long time... But I digress. You can still visit that zombie blog at motorcyclesidecardrama.blogspot.com. Still proud of some of the stuff we did (I intend to take quite a bit from it.) But that wasn't really what I'm good at. I don't wanna re-post other people's cool stuff. I wanna make and share cool stuff.

So, welcome to my stupid, fun, waste-of-time, site. It's forever a work in progress.

Test, Test, Test

Testing this test test testing test.

One time there was a thing, and I put it somewhere, and then I couldn't find it.

It was in my butt.

And the thing was another butt.

It was like Butt Inception.