The Best and Shittiest Star Wars Fan Theory Ever

This idea started off as me making fun of fan theories, and it turned into the best, shittiest idea imaginable. I'm pretty sure the internet... hell, the world would explode if this happened. It'd never happen, but it'd be f*cking amazing. Just imagine the balls on anyone who would even pitch this...

Let's go to Jack's opening scene of Episode VIII which takes place right were VII leaves off...

(REY is STILL holding out the lightsaber for Luke to take.)

REY

Take it!

LUKE

Where did you-?... No, I'm afraid that doesn't belong to me anymore. 

REY

(finally puts hand down) So you are Luke Skywalker.

LUKE

Luke Skywalker. Now, that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.

REY

General Leia sent me-

LUKE

General?

REY

Yes, she sent me here to find you. We need your help.

LUKE

I know.

REY

Then why are you here? Why did you leave? Why are you in this galaxy far, far away? We have no record of this place. Where are we?

LUKE

It's called... Earth.

WHAAAAAAT?!? Yeah, I just Battlestar Galactica'd Star Wars! I mean, that place didn't feel like a Star Wars planet, right? That place was the Skellig Islands. From Wikipedia:

"The larger of the two is Skellig Michael... Skellig Michael is also famous for an early Christian monastery..."

You know what that means then, right? Luke is biblical! Maybe Luke is Noah? (There sure was a lot of water!) Or maybe he's Moses? Or Jesus? Rey is Mary! Or maybe Luke has been writing a book of the bible?

Omigod... Skywalker... Skywalker, right? Skywalker could be another word for "Angel."

WHAAAAAAT?!?