Sonnets: The "Cleaning Out My Closet" Sessions

Popped into the sonnet folder and finished a couple... They're personal, they're honest, and they're ugly.


Sonnet 16

Re-thinking things and here are my two cents:
Don't cut out people. Trust me, I've tried.
'Cause turning a blind eye just robs one sense
And seems to leave the others amplified.

It may be easier to shut the door,

But doors will only keep in feelings caught.

And weathered walls will not withstand the fire

Of passion and love that can't be forgot.

'Cause I still taste her kisses on my lips

And I remember the smell of her hair.

My hands remember the feel of her hips.

These ears think they hear her everywhere.

If losing one sense is the others' gain,
Then teach me how I can turn off my brain.


Sonnet 17 (The Mercutio Sonnet)

Look, all I wanted was to be your friend,
And be someone with whom you could confide.
But I had no idea that this would end
With getting me stabbed in the fucking side.

You got me caught up in your stupid love.
I should have known that something was amiss.
I have so many questions, but above
All else: what was the fucking point of this?

A plague o' both your houses! Hear my screams
With what appears to be my dying breath.
My mind goes back to Queen Mab and those dreams
Yet I had never dreamed you'd cause this death.

But good for you. Get married. Pick out shelves.
Or skip to the end, and go kill yourselves.


Sonnet 18

Her arms don't feel like a salvation but,
I guess that they are good for a quick fix.
On paper she is perfect, but then what
Good's a perfection full of asterisks?

I search for answers in her eyes. I stare
but only find there's nothing to be learned.
I look for fire, but there is nothing there
But I still feel the fire when I get burned.

I'm tortured by this itch that I can't scratch.
My other passions are put on the shelf.
Like Ahab, I am fixated on a catch,
And it is making me destroy myself.

I look at her, and I don't see a mate.
I only see my expiration date.

Throwback Thursday Post: A Survey from 9/8/2006

(This was originally posted as a myspace blog in 2006. Ya know, I liked myspace. I was sad when Facebook won. Myspace let you express yourself more. Let you have your own blog. And there were always these fun surveys that your friends wrote and posted. I pretty much always did them, but this is one of the ones that I posted. Posting this now because... I don't know. I've updated my answers in red.

I always do these survey thingies cause they're a bit therapeutic... I just never post em'... I liked this one... Not proofread, so excuse the mistakes...

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
A great story involving a pull up bar, and my propensity to be as Asian as possible with a potential weapon... Got a great scar on the bridge of my nose.

My current favorite scar is the one on the outside of my left hand. I got it when I was cleaning the bar at Olive Garden. I just like the placement of it.

2.WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Superman cape, Rocky posters... sadly my Olive Garden employee of the month thing from 2000... when i liked working there more... And pictures of my best friends and Bailey.

Superman cape (sentimental value), Captain America shield, assorted posters... Fixing to grow up aaaaany decade now.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
I think so, loudly, and sometimes if I'm dreaming.  I remember I was dreaming that there was some guy in our backyard at the window, and i screamed in the dream and aloud for him to "get the hell out!"... I share thin walls with a 10 year old... That had to have been great.

I really didn't answer the question there... I think I snore and grind my teeth. I recently yelled in my sleep because I was dreaming one of my nieces was being abducted, and I was trying to scream but couldn't in the dream. I woke myself up with that one.

Charlotte's Web (Re-imagined as a Gritty Prison-Based Mini-Series)

Every now and then I like to take something that doesn't need a gritty re-imagining/reboot and give it a gritty re-imagining/reboot. This is my stab at the first couple scenes of an unnecessary, gritty, re-imagining of E.B. White's classic Charlotte's Web. I should note that in my version, the characters are not animals. They're all people, and it takes place in a prison.

Hopefully, as you read this, you imagine that someone actually made this into a mini-series... and then you'd think, "Why the fuck would anyone want to do this?"

(The "Too long/didn't read" version/summary of my script: Elwyn "Wilbur" Brooks is sent to Farmington Prison (aka The Farm) after being convicted of raping and murdering 14 children. He pleaded guilty and is on death row. At the prison, he meets Warden Zuckerman, Dr. Fern Arable (who happens to be an old girlfriend), and his cellmate Templeton Ratzinger. He is shanked several times over the first few weeks. Later, he meets up with his lawyer, Charlotte Cavatica who is still convinced of his innocence despite his guilty plea.)

Charlotte's Web

Episode 1: A Web of Lies

Act I, Scene I


(Exterior Crane Shot of a prison. We see that it's called Farmington Penitentiary. We get random bits of prisoners doing various stereotypical prisoner-y things. Playing basketball. Lifting weights. Eating. Gang fights. Dropping soap. Guys getting shanked. Very gritty. Very dark. We then go into the office of WARDEN Zuckerman.  WARDEN is in his mid 50s and sturdy. WARDEN is doing paperwork at his desk. There's a knock at the door.)

WARDEN: Come.

(Enter Dr. FERN Arable, his niece and the prison doctor.  FERN is in her late 20s/early 30s.  Beautiful. Dark red hair hair, pale skin, and kind eyes. Idealist.)

FERN: You wanted to see me, Uncle Homer?
WARDEN: Fern, what did I tell you?
FERN: Sorry... What's up, 'Warden Zuckerman?'
WARDEN: Have a seat.  How are you today?
FERN: Fine...
WARDEN: How's your father?
FERN: Good. Still in the hospital. (a beat) What's going on?
WARDEN: Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about our latest transfer, Mr. Elwyn Brooks.
FERN: Wilbur?... What about him?
WARDEN: Fern...
FERN: (annoyed) What about him?  
WARDEN: Your mother told me that you know him.
FERN: I knew him.
WARDEN: Biblically.
FERN: Oh my God, Warden, that was 5 years ago.  We dated for a couple months. And we were done long before that pig went off and raped and murdered all those children.
WARDEN: And you didn't think you ought to have told me?
FERN: Why?
WARDEN: You can't be here, Fern. Not while he's here.
FERN: Why?
WARDEN: Because you have a romantic history with a known dangerous convict... a convict who you will have to patch up when he gets his ass kicked.
FERN: "Romantic history?" You don't think I can do my job?
WARDEN: It's not about that, Fern.
FERN: Then what's it about?
WARDEN: It's about keeping you safe. Look, I'm going to have you transferred.
FERN: What?
WARDEN: To a minimum security facility in Dayton.
FERN: Why?
WARDEN: Because I don't want you near him. You heard about what he did. Come on, Fern, this is just temporary.
FERN: Temporary?
WARDEN: He's on death row... and honestly, he may not even make it to the chair.
FERN: Then what? I'll just up and move again? (Sigh) This is bullshit.
WARDEN: Hey.
FERN: No, Warden, this is bullshit. We're understaffed as it is.
WARDEN: This isn't up for discussion. This is how it's going to be. I don't know when the transfer will go through, but you might as well pack up.
FERN: Fine.
WARDEN: It's for the best, Fern.
FERN: Doctor.
WARDEN: What?
FERN: It's Dr. Arable...Warden.


Scene II

(We're on a prison bus where Elwyn WILBUR Brooks is staring out a window. WILBUR is an average-size in his early to mid 30s. He's soft. He's cookie dough. He looks deeply troubled and dazed. He still can't believe what's happened. The bus stops in front of Farmington Penitentiary.)

Guard: On your feet, you sick fuck.

(WILBUR gets up. His feet and hands are shackled. We follow WILBUR as he gets off the bus. WARDEN is outside the bus waiting.)

WARDEN: Normally, I don't greet prisoners face to face, but I wanted to look into your eyes... (Wilbur won't keep eye contact) Elwyn Brooks...The man who raped and murdered 14 kids but won't confess their whereabouts. I get a lot of trash in this prison, Brooks, but you... You're something else, aren't you? Well, lucky for us, Wilbur, you won't be here very long. The cons here don't take kindly to... whatever it is you are. Probably won't even last the winter. That bother you?
WILBUR: (almost a whisper) No, sir.
WARDEN: Good... Show him to his cell.

(Guards escort WILBUR past the other prisoners. Prisoners are yelling at Wilbur. Wilbur continues to be in a daze.)

INMATE 1: Fresh meat. Fresh meat.
INMATE 2: That's the bitch that likes to rape kids, right?
INMATE 3: Mmm... I'll see you later, boy.

(Wilbur is taken to the end of the hall. It is a small room with a bunk bed. An inmate named TEMPLETON is laying on the top bunk with his back to everything. TEMPLETON is tiny, skinny... basically he's Steve Buscemi.)

GUARD: Here you go, sicko. We put you in a room with this rat bastard. Hey Templeton, you up? Templeton? You got a roommate. Wake up. (Templeton doesn't move) Ehh... Make yourself at home, Brooks. Welcome to The Farm.

(GUARD closes the cell door. Wilbur surveys the room and then takes a seat on the bottom bunk.)

TEMPLETON: (whispers) Welcome to hell.
WILBUR: Hmm... Thanks.
TEMPLETON: (turns) So, you, uh... you, that... that rapist guy, huh?
WILBUR: That's what they say.  
TEMPLETON: You uh... so you... you, gonna rape me?
WILBUR: Wasn't planning on it.
TEMPLETON: Good because, uh... I'm a man you should be friends with, okay? Let's be friends. No raping. No murdering. No hurting, okay? You and me. I can get you anything. Whatever you need. Name's Templeton Ratzinger, but everyone calls me Ratz.
WILBUR: Rat?
TEMPLETON: No, no, no, I'm no snitch. I just... Ya know... I have ways of getting stuff.
WILBUR: Right.
TEMPLETON: What about you? What should I call you?
WILBUR: Wilbur.
TEMPLETON: Ratz and Wilbur. Wilbur and Ratz. I like it. 
WILBUR: ...Alright.
TEMPLETON: This place... This is a bad place, man. Bad place.
WILBUR: I'm already on death row. How much worse can it get?
TEMPLETON: You'll see, Willy-boy. You'll see... Death is a gift after life on The Farm.
WILBUR: Why do they call it "The Farm?"
Templeton: They're animals out there man... Animals.



Scene III

(We're in FERN's office. Her office is messy and in the middle of being packed. FERN is distracted. Enter NURSE)

NURSE: Dr. Arable, we need you in the infirmary.
FERN: What happened?
NURSE: Stabbing. O'Connor shanked that new guy.
FERN: Brooks?
NURSE: Yeah. Doesn't look too serious, but you ought to have a look.
FERN: Alright, I'll be there in a bit. (FERN puts on a white coat, and we follow her to the infirmary. WILBUR is laying on a table. He looks broken. With him is a very large guard. This is AVERY, Fern's older brother.)

AVERY: Heya sis.
FERN: Thanks, Avery, but I got it from here.
AVERY: No, I'm not leaving this room.
FERN: He got stabbed in the back. He's not gonna do anything.
AVERYy: Yeah, but... This guy... You know who he is... You sure?
FERN: I'll be fine. Just wait outside. Makes me nervous when you're in here.
AVERY: Alright. Yell if you need me.
FERN: Hope it doesn't come to that, but thank you. (FERN looks at WILBUR's chart). Small world, eh... Wilbur?
WILBUR: Fern? Fern Arable? What the hell are you doing here?
FERN: It's Dr. Fern Arable. I am your doctor here... today. Probably just for today. Warden found out about our short history, and he's transferring me.
WILBUR: That's crazy.
FERN: (under her breath) You would know. (FERN starts to examine the wound)
WILBUR: How bad is it?
FERN: 5 or 6 stitches. I've seen worse... You probably deserve worse. Good news is you won't be back in gen pop for awhile. Maybe a couple weeks here or in solitary to get this healed. Maybe. Either way, it's better than gen pop. They really don't like child molesters on the farm.... They don't really like anyone on the farm. (FERN is still checking the wound). Does it hurt?
WILBUR: Not really. Can't really feel it.
FERN: Well... you never were much for feelings, were you?... Heard O'Connor did this.
WILBUR: Didn't know his name. Was just eating lunch and then got jumped. Didn't even get two bites... You look good, Fern.
FERN: (bothered) And you look like shit. This isn't too bad. I'll get Regina in here to stitch you up.
Wilbur: Please Fern, don't go...
Fern: Why?
Wilbur: I... I'm scared, Fern.
Fern: So were those victims, I bet. (FERN exits).
Wilbur: (alone and quietly) But I'm innocent.


(End of Act I. Commercial break!)


Act II. Scene I

(Back in WARDEN Zuckerman's office. WARDEN is again at his desk. It appears as though a couple weeks have passed. WARDEN's secretary, Edith, buzzes in.)

EDITH: (over intercom) Warden, Charlotte Cavatica is here for her 10:00 meeting.
WARDEN: I had a meeting with her, today?
EDITH: Yes sir.
WARDEN: (to himself) Oh, fuck me... Send her in.

(Enter CHARLOTTE. CHARLOTTE is in her late 30s/early 40s. Beautiful. Immaculate. Professional. Indomitable. She's Julianna Margulies.)

CHARLOTTE: Good morning, Warden.
WARDEN: Cavatica. What can I help you with today?
CHARLOTTE: Same thing you could have helped me with yesterday. And the day before. And last week. I want to speak with my client..
WARDEN: Elwyn Brooks is still recovery. A couple stab wounds and, most recently, floor cleaner in the eyes, will do that to you.
CHARLOTTE: Can he move his mouth and make words? Because I just want to speak to him.

WARDEN: Cute.

CHARLOTTE: Listen, the last time I was here, you said to get a judge's order. I have a judge's order. (hands paperwork to WARDEN). I want to speak with my client.

WARDEN: Why are you wasting our time with this? He's guilty. He confessed. You were sitting right next to him when he pleaded guilty. Innocent people don't confess, and that disgusting pig confessed.
CHARLOTTE: Exactly. Innocent people don't confess... So why did he?
WARDEN: As usual, Cavatica, I don't follow.
CHARLOTTE: Warden, if we had gone to trial, I would have torn apart the state's case. I would have shown how Wilbur was visiting his mother in Palmdale when Esther Marie was abducted. I would have shown how Wilbur was in Florida for a job interview when Stephanie Stevens turned up missing. I would have shown how the lone-surviving child, Kelsey Erickson didn't even recognize a mugshot of Wilbur. Warden, someone... everyone is hiding something. Something big. And I want to know what and why. Elwyn Brooks is not a good man... but he didn't rape and murder those children.
WARDEN: Even if I believed you... Why was this never been publicized?
CHARLOTTE: Whoever is pulling the strings got a killer with a confession. The public doesn't want to think that the real danger is still out there. And that danger is still out there.
WARDEN: (deep sigh) Fine... You wanna get caught up in some crazy web of conspiracies, that's on you. 

CHARLOTTE: I do well in webs, Warden. That's why they call me the spider.

Act II, Scene II

(We're in the infirmary. WILBUR is on a hospital bed. His eyes are covered. He's on his back. He looks miserable. Broken. He wants to die. CHARLOTTE opens the door.)

CHARLOTTE: Salutations, Wilbur.
WILBUR: Salu-what?
CHARLOTTE: Salutations.
WILBUR: What are you talking about? Who is this?
CHARLOTTE: Salutations are greetings, Wilbur... My fancy way of saying hello.
WILBUR: (recognizing the voice) Oh, Christ... Charlotte, what are you doing here?

CHARLOTTE: Still trying to save your life.

WILBUR: You can't.

CHARLOTTE: I can if you help me. I know that you're innocent of those murders. I can prove it. I know that you're taking the fall for someone. Just don't know who. Or why. I know-

WILBUR: I pleaded guilty, Charlotte. Everyone thinks I did it, so... I did it. That's all that matters. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of this circus. Let me die with a little peace and dignity.

CHARLOTTE: "A little peace and dignity?" You're covered in stab wounds, and you can't see. Tell me what's really going on.

WILBUR: I can't. (long beat)

CHARLOTTE: Okay... How about this?... Wilbur, there's a real killer out there. You know something. Now, I never thought you were capable of harming anyone, but I also never thought you'd be complacent with the deaths of innocents.

WILBUR: It's won't happen again.

CHARLOTTE: It will.

WILBUR: (starting to break) It won't. I'm dying, so it won't. 

CHARLOTTE: Yes, it will. Ya know, it probably already has. 

WILBUR: No. It won't. Stop it.

CHARLOTTE: You'll die for nothing, and this whole thing starts over again.

WILBUR: Stop it. Leave me alone. It won't happen again.

CHARLOTTE: You think someone as sick as the killer will kill 14 and then just be happy with that? It will happen again.

WILBUR: Please! Stop it! I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Stop it. It won't happen again!

CHARLOTTE: How do you know?!

WILBUR: (breaking) Because they told me it was over.

CHARLOTTE: (beat) Who? Wilbur, who? Tell me who told you that. C'mon, Wilbur, tell me. Who said it was over? Who said it was over?

WILBUR: Oh no... Oh no, oh no, oh no.

(AVERY enters)

AVERY: Miss, I think it's time for you to leave.

WILBUR: Get her out of here. Please! Oh God!

CHARLOTTE: I'm gonna come back, Wilbur. I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

AVERY: Miss, please, I think it's time to go.

WILBUR: Just let me rest. I just want to rest.

CHARLOTTE: Fine, go to sleep. You'll see me in the morning. I'll be back tomorrow, Wilbur. I'll be back. You're going to tell me what I want to know.

Eh...